Grief & Loss by Alli Fine
What I Believe About This Work
At its core, death work and social work are not about having all the answers.
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It is about:
  • being a decent human being
  • meeting people where they are
  • listening without fixing
  • witnessing without turning away
  • telling the truth with compassion
  • being scared…but doing it anyway

This work is hard. It is devastating at times. And right now, it is more needed than ever. Your presence, empathy, and willingness to sit in discomfort matter. You matter.

Grief is not private — it is public.
We talked about how grief shows up in the world around us:
  • in music
  • in social media posts
  • in protests
  • in exhaustion
  • in the stories people are afraid to say aloud

You are allowed to be affected by these things. You are allowed to cry in public. Go ahead and make everyone feel uncomfortable. You are allowed to cry when and where you want. You are allowed to carry truth with you.

Grief isn’t something to “get over.” It’s something we learn to walk with.

Truth-Telling as a Form of Care
My role in death work has shifted into becoming a kind of truth advocate — someone who helps people speak honestly, openly, and without sugarcoating their experience.

You can be this too.

Truth-telling doesn’t mean being harsh.
It means being real.
It means letting people know they are:
  • seen
  • heard
  • not alone

For Your Path Forward
Whether you become a social worker, therapist, medical professional, doula, advocate, or community support person, remember:
  • You don’t have to be perfect.
  • You don’t have to be unshakeable.
  • You don’t have to have the right words.

You only have to be willing — to show up, to listen, to stay.

This is brave work. And the world needs brave helpers. If you'd like the worksheet we used in class, see the button to access it below. There is also a playlist I have made with songs that reflect loss and grief. It is embedded here so you can preview each song. I encourage you to create your own playlists as well.

Music is powerful for healing. Make a list of songs that make you feel great, but also a list of songs that make you feel sadness and anger. These songs can give you something to relate to when you need them. It is also a fun exercise to do with family, friends, clients, etc. One of the simplest ways to explore grief, truth, and emotional expression is to ask people about the music they turn to during big feelings. Music becomes a kind of emotional time capsule — a record of who we were, what we were carrying, and how we learned to cope.

A great question to open this up is:
“What was your go-to breakup song when you were younger?”

This question does more than spark nostalgia. It reveals:
  • how we process emotion
  • how our coping strategies evolve
  • what we needed but didn’t have language for at the time
  • how universal it is to seek comfort and release

From breakup songs to scream-in-the-car songs, to comfort playlists, to the tracks we avoid because they hurt too much — music is one of the most accessible ways to talk about grief without using the word grief.

It gives people permission to be honest. It gives them a “way in.” It lets them share tenderness without feeling exposed. Music is often the bridge between private grief and public expression — and it’s one of the most human places to begin conversation.

Always Creating, Always Connecting
I’m always dreaming up new ways to build community, encourage brave spaces, spark tough conversations, and create fun, meaningful experiences. One idea I’m hoping to bring to life this winter is Graveyard Glam: A Mortician’s Makeover & Movie Night.

Picture this: a cozy Airbnb (or maybe even a space on campus), snacks, a screening of Practical Magic, a Q&A with a mortuary cosmetologist, and maybe even a few mini makeovers. A little spooky, a little soulful—totally unforgettable. Sounds fun, right?

If you’re curious about my work, feel free to explore my WEBSITE and check out the different tabs—there’s even a book club! 

My BIG upcoming event is the Shifting Sands Conference in 2026—the one I mentioned in class. Who knows…maybe you can even earn course credit or get the university to pay for your ticket/travel? It’s shaping up to be a truly powerful day. 

If you’d like to continue the conversation, have follow-up questions, or just want to chat more about grief work, community care, or death positivity, feel free to email me anytime. I’m always grabbing coffee around town—and I always welcome company!

Stay Connected
If you’d like to follow along with my work, reflections, and upcoming events, you’re welcome to connect with me on social media:

Personal IG: @alli_in_motion
Kaleidoscope Soul IG: @kscopesoul

I share a mix of behind-the-scenes moments, community offerings, event announcements, and the everyday magic that fuels this work.

Want to stay truly up to date? Join my newsletter!
Just scroll to the footer of this webpage—you’ll find the signup right there. It’s the easiest way to hear about new events, classes, community gatherings, and special projects the moment they’re announced. HERE is my latest newsletter as an example.

Cheers,
Alli Fine -Reminding you to be R.A.W. (Real, Active, Wonder-filled)